Moonhill-An intellectual test

What is moonhill? Hill on the moon. Or moon on the hill? Whatever be it , it does not have any apparent meaning or sense. It appears to be a moronic oxymoron. How can there be hills on moon or moon on the hills? But there you are wrong. 

The juxtaposition of this celestial body and the geological object, is symbolic of the absurdities and delusions that go on to constitute that inexplicable phenomenon, which is known as life in common parlance. Puzzled? Well, I think this statement was beyond your levels of comprehension. What to do? I am an intellectual. So I ought to talk like this.

A friend of mine(an intellectual,obviously) told me that creating a blog would grant me the passport to the world of intelligentsia. However, I have to adhere to the code of conduct of intellectuals; which means I have to use literary words and phrases(like using 'chronometer' instead of 'watch'), employ philosophical jargon(I'm undergoing an existential angst), talk in abstract terms(sample:Your hunger is just symbolic of the voidness that has afflicted your cerebral cells) and quote Sartre and Camus proficiently.

But I don't think I have to resort to the aforementioned activities to prove that I'm an intellectual. Because, I am a born intellectual. And all my acts during the span of twenty one years of life, befit an intellectual's life. Here are the reasons which encourages me to think that I am an intellectual;or rather I can be an intellectual,at least a pseudo one.

Reasons:

1. I detest bollywood movies, especially the ones made by the likes of Karan Johar and Yash Chopra. I have a taste for global movies: Japanese movies(Kurosawa,Wow!!), Swedish movies(Bergman, what a man!), French noir movies and some Priyadarshan Movies.See my intellectual prowess. De Dana Dan!!
2. I know that the capital of Somalia is Mogadishu and also know to pronounce it properly. Mogaadishyuum. What an apt name for a place where gun-fires happen like public defecation in India!
3. Along with my morning tea, I read Jean Paul Sartre's 'Critique of Dialectical Reason' instead of filmi gossip and sex queries.Also I read yellow newspapers like 'Economic Times' and 'Business Standard' to check if capitalism has withered.
4. I know what 'dialectical materialism' means and I can sympathize with the naxalites and maoists. After all, they are the 'gandhis with guns'. (See ,how effortlessly I quoted Arundhati Roy)
5. My role model is Dr.Sashi Tharoor and I aspire to be a global citizen like him. Oh my god, what a genius! An interlocutor of holy cows indeed!!
6. Did you think that I'm a believer? How dare you? An intellectual cannot afford to be obsessed with human creations like God and heaven. That would be blasphemous.
7. I don't drink imperialistic beverages like 'Pepsi' and 'Coke'. Although, they are consumable after their imperialistic sins have been washed away with Indian Made Foreign Liquor, preferably vodka(Vladimir Lenin too preferred vodka, See intellectuals have similar tastes)
8. I don't watch brute games like football or lazy games like cricket. Instead, I watch and play intellectual games like chess,poker etc.often with myself, since there aren't many  intellectuals around.
9. Pondering over my 'existential angst' and deliberating upon the 'absurdities of life', I smoke three packs of Gold Flake cigarette a day and find solace at the sight of the fumes diffusing into the atmosphere. 
10.  Most importantly, I sport a french beard; not like Amitabh Bacchaan(I don't understand why everyone calls that old man 'the angry young man')  but like Mani Ratnam-the only Indian who knows to make movies(ya,Priyadarshan is also there). Haven't you seen 'Raavan'? What a movie! What an imagery!

I feel I have given enough reasons to establish my intellectual capabilities. And I will continue to amaze you with my intellectual tricks. You can regard yourselves privileged, as you got a glimpse of the workings of the mind of an intellectual. 

P.S: Even after reading this post, if you are still wondering what 'moonhill' is, then you have passed the test. You are also an intellectual like me. In fact, a sharper intellectual who can even assume the role of my instructor. My hearty congratulations. Hats off to your presence of mind.